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Preventing tantrums: routines, transitions and warnings

Updated 2026-10-01

The sources below do not establish a way to prevent every tantrum. They describe parenting suggestions and research findings, with limits on what these tell us about tantrum prevention. Results across groups of children cannot tell you how your own child will respond.

Know your child's pressure points

NHS parent information suggests finding out why tantrums happen, for example whether your child is tired or hungry [1]. The AAP suggests knowing your child's triggers and identifying peak times such as hunger and fatigue [2], and the secondary clinical reference StatPearls lists fatigue, hunger, illness and frustration as triggers to reduce [3]. In a sample of 1,490 children aged 3 to 5, 60 per cent had had a tantrum when tired, hungry or sick in the past month, and 58 per cent during daily routines [4].

Action for Children's parent information suggests keeping a behaviour diary to look for patterns, including what happened before, during and after an episode. Patterns may emerge at particular times of day or week [5]. See How to track tantrums.

Routines

CDC parent information says routines and rules "help kids feel safe and know what to expect". It suggests building routines around your child's capabilities and understanding, adding enjoyable elements, and explaining changes calmly; "brush, book, bed" is its example of a bedtime routine [6]. It also advises introducing a new routine when your child is calm enough to listen, not when they are upset [6]. StatPearls includes routines for naps, meals and snacks in its prevention advice [3].

The available abstracts report associations between routines and developmental outcomes. A systematic review of 170 studies found routines were associated with positive outcomes in children, including self-regulation and social-emotional skills [7]. In a study of 2,353 children, those whose routines stayed consistently high across the preschool years had fewer attention, externalising and internalising problems at age 5 than those whose routines decreased [8]. In the study of 2,353 children, routines were reported by mothers. These findings do not establish that routines cause better adjustment or prevent tantrums.

Sleep

The AAP suggests protecting sleep and naps [2]. A systematic review of 26 studies of preschool children found that, among the 13 larger studies, 12 linked more or better sleep with better behavioural or cognitive outcomes, but the associations were relatively small and the authors called for longitudinal studies that account for other factors [9].

Transitions and warnings

Moving from one activity to another can set off difficult behaviour in young children [10]. CDC parent information suggests being predictable, letting your child know what will happen [6]. For autistic children, the National Autistic Society suggests timetables and timers that count down to transitions [11].

The direct evidence on warnings is thin and mixed. In one study of three toddlers in a childcare setting, a two-minute warning before moving from play to the toilet area did not improve cooperation on its own; cooperation improved when the adult followed through with prompts so the move went ahead [12]. In a study of two preschoolers, advance notice alone did not reduce tantrums under the conditions tested. Tantrums decreased when reinforcement for the absence of tantrums was combined with tantrums no longer resulting in access to the previous activity [10]. Those authors noted that other studies have found advance notice can help, and concluded that it "is not always effective" [10].

These studies involved five children and measured different outcomes: compliance and tantrums. Improvements occurred under specific procedures involving gestural and physical prompts in one study, and reinforcement combined with withholding access to the previous activity following tantrums in the other. They do not establish a general rule for managing transitions. Our view: advance notice can be offered as a courtesy.

Attention and specific praise

The AAP recommends frequent positive attention and specific praise [2]. CDC parent information suggests using positive consequences such as praise and attention as much as possible for behaviour you would like to see again, with examples like "Thank you for being patient and staying by me" [13].

In a meta-analysis of 154 parenting programme trials, three of 26 techniques were associated with stronger effects on disruptive behaviour: positive reinforcement, praise in particular, and natural or logical consequences [14]. An earlier review of 77 programme evaluations found that teaching positive parent–child interaction was among the components associated with larger effects [15]. A review of 41 studies on children's compliance found that praise had mixed effects on whether children did what they were asked [16].

Our view: specific praise is a way to acknowledge something you appreciate, such as "Thank you for putting your cup on the table."

Choices, and fewer battles

The AAP suggests offering small choices and choosing your battles [2]. StatPearls suggests offering choices and avoiding saying no too often [3]. Our view: "red cup or blue cup?" is an example of a small choice where either answer is acceptable to you.

Consistency

CDC parent information advises responding the same way each time and doing what you say you will do [6]. It notes that giving in to a tantrum can make future tantrums more likely [13], as does NHS parent information [1]. Consistency was among the components associated with larger effects in the review of parenting programmes [15].

When prevention is not enough

Parenting programmes have been tested at different levels. In the same meta-analysis, effects on disruptive behaviour were smaller for universal programmes offered to all families (d = −0.21) and larger for treatment of existing problems (d = −0.69) [14]. If you are seriously concerned about your child's behaviour, NHS parent information is to talk to your health visitor or GP [1]. See When to seek help for tantrums. For information about sensory overload and communication needs, see Tantrums and overload.

These findings cannot predict whether a particular strategy will prevent your child's tantrums. Our view: this guide should not be used to judge yourself or another parent.