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Why tantrums happen: what's going on for your child

Updated 2026-10-01

Tantrums are common in young children. NHS parent information says they usually start at around 18 months and are very common in toddlers, and that by the age of 4 they are far less common [1]. In a study of 1,490 children aged 3 to 5, 84 per cent had shown some form of tantrum in the past month [2]. This guide covers what research and parent information say about why tantrums happen. No single explanation fits every tantrum, and findings across groups of children cannot tell you exactly what is going on for your own child.

What a tantrum is made of

Research based on parents' accounts of tantrums in 335 children aged 18 months to 5 years described anger and distress as separate components [3]. Anger rose quickly and peaked at or near the beginning, while crying and comfort-seeking slowly became more likely as the tantrum went on [4]. CDC parent information says toddlers and preschoolers "may act out when they become overwhelmed or distressed and don't know how to manage their emotions" [5].

Self-regulation is still developing

A review of research on emotion-related self-regulation describes it as developing rapidly in the early years of life and improving more slowly into adulthood. It notes that differences between children are fairly stable after the first year or two, and that self-regulation has been related to both genetic and environmental factors and their interaction [6].

One study followed 120 children from economically strained homes from 18 to 48 months and watched them wait 8 minutes for a gift. On average, at 18 and 24 months children were quick to react angrily and slower to shift their attention away. By 36 months they distracted themselves before showing anger, and their anger was briefer. At 48 months they typically made a quick bid to their mother about having to wait and then distracted themselves, and on average did not appear angry until the second half of the wait [7]. The authors also discussed the limits of children's self-regulation at 48 months [7]. This was a waiting task, not a study of tantrums.

In three samples totalling 1,386 children aged 3 to 7, most children showed rapid development in task-based measures of behavioural self-regulation, with differences in when gains occurred [8]. These measures did not assess tantrums directly.

You may read that tantrums happen because a particular part of a child's brain is "unfinished". The source material available for this guide does not establish that tantrums are caused by a particular brain region being ‘unfinished’. We therefore focus on findings about behaviour, development and context.

Language and being understood

NHS parent information explains that toddlers want to express themselves but find it difficult, that the frustration can come out as a tantrum, and that once a child can talk more they are less likely to have tantrums [1].

Research supports a link, without settling the cause. In a study of 120 children followed from 18 to 48 months, toddlers with better language skills, and whose language grew more, appeared less angry at 48 months during a waiting task; seeking support and distraction explained part of this link [9]. In a survey of 2,001 mothers, fewer spoken words were associated with more severe tantrums among children aged 12 to 38 months. Late talkers aged 24 to 30 months had 1.96 times the risk of severe tantrums compared with peers with typical language [10]. The authors suggested several possible explanations, including tantrums as a way of communicating or a result of frustration, effects running in both directions, and shared biological factors, and noted that their cross-sectional design and use of parent reports were limitations [10].

Temperament

AAP parent information says a child's personality and temperament influence how often and how intensely they have tantrums [11]. Researchers measure temperament in 3- to 7-year-olds with caregiver questionnaires that include characteristics such as anger and frustration, soothability and inhibitory control [12]. That measurement work shows children differ; it is not a study of tantrums. In the self-regulation study above, the different patterns of growth were linked with child gender, early language skills and maternal education [8].

Our view: differences in temperament should not be treated as faults in children or parents.

Tiredness, hunger, illness and changes of activity

NHS parent information says a child may have a tantrum because they are tired or hungry, or because they feel frustrated or jealous [1]. AAP parent information suggests identifying peak times such as hunger and fatigue [11], and the secondary clinical reference StatPearls lists fatigue, hunger, illness and frustration as triggers to reduce [13]. In the study of 1,490 children aged 3 to 5, 60 per cent had had a tantrum when tired, hungry or sick in the past month, 61 per cent when frustrated, angry or upset, and 58 per cent during daily routines [2]. Belden and colleagues noted that sudden-onset tantrums attributable to hunger, sleep problems or illness should not in themselves be considered alarming [14].

On sleep, a small experiment with 10 children aged 30 to 36 months found that, after a missed nap, negative emotional responses to an unsolvable puzzle increased by 31 per cent and positive responses to a solvable puzzle fell by 34 per cent [15]. It did not measure tantrums. A systematic review included 26 studies with substantial differences between them. Among the 13 articles with the largest samples, 12 reported associations between more or better sleep and better behavioural and/or cognitive outcomes; the reported associations were relatively small [16].

A small clinic-based study examined tantrums associated with changes between activities in two preschool children. Its findings cannot establish how commonly transitions trigger tantrums in other children [17].

Wanting something, and what follows

In the study of 1,490 children, 59 per cent had had a tantrum to get something they wanted at least once in the past month [2]. NHS and CDC parent information both say that giving in to a tantrum can make future tantrums more likely [1][18]. NHS parent information also notes that a child may need time, attention and love [1].

The sources here describe tantrums in terms of anger, frustration and distress, and none of them presents evidence that tantrums are generally a deliberate attempt to manipulate. Our view: we prefer to describe what happened and the surrounding circumstances rather than label a child as manipulative.

When to talk to someone

In the study of 3- to 5-year-olds, milder tantrums tended to happen in expected situations such as frustration, while patterns the authors flagged as potentially concerning were unpredictable, prolonged or destructive; they stressed that the clinical validity of these patterns had not been established [2]. If you are seriously concerned about your child's behaviour, NHS parent information is to talk to your health visitor or GP [1]. See When to seek help for tantrums, How long do toddler tantrums last? and Tantrums and overload.